When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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