I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize