I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
