i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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