Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
