Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
