If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
