hell yes lets make some ravioli
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize
