If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think I sprained my soul last night
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
