First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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