Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
