thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
