look no pants
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
