For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize