drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
