somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
