real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
