Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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