I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
not ubering you a puppy
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize