at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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