go do what you do best...puke behind churches
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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