kristin has been a bad kristin
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
