i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
