Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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