she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
