I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
