Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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