I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
So squirting runs in the family.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
