Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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