you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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