after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
