Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
