the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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