And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
