I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I will pee on everything he values.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
