I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
id be glad to
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize