Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
