He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
