About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
