I faked an abortion last night.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
