i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
