Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
whose parrot is this?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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