My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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