Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
