if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize