he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
