So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
