Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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