just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize