I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
