Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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