mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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