dude i'm inner monologue high
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
