I'm gonna have a badass scar
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
