I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
