That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
