I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
