It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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