Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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