I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
