YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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