Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
