I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So vagazzling was a success
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize