Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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