dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
