i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
